Review Criteria

For my review to successfully do its job I will need criteria that must be used to compare the UCF homecoming to other homecomings across the country. These criteria must be relevant and important to those readers looking to use this review. The first way I will judge the homecoming will be by the events held for homecoming. It is traditionally to have a spirit week for your school and many schools throw events to help encourage student involvement. A good homecoming has a variety of events that will be popular with the students and that will hold their interest. The second criteria I will judge the homecoming by is student involvement. Homecoming can happen but they are no fun to be at when no one participates. Another important aspect of homecoming is the school support showed by the students at the schools. Homecoming has always been about showing school spirit and if the school’s students don’t feel the need to participate then a lot is taken away from homecoming. So the amount of spirit involved in homecoming will be another criterion for my review. The final criteria will be on the relative amount of fun one can experience at the homecoming overall or the overall experience involved with the homecoming as compared to the experience had at other schools or in the past. With these criteria I should be able to develop a well organized and informative review that others can use as advice.

Audience of my review paper

For my paper I’m going to review the University Of Central Florida’s homecoming. This event is held every year in almost all high schools and colleges across the country. It pulls in a large crowd. The audience my paper will be directed towards would be any college students attending UCF or college in general interested in participating in homecoming events. It will also find readers in high school students looking to get a feel for college life or alumni who have previously attended college and homecoming in particular. Homecoming is a fun and social event that often is involved with school spirit. People take pride in their school so my review would approach an insider student’s opinion on what takes place at homecoming at a school where he is attending. A social network and staying connected with that network is important to anyone who wants to live a successful life so alumni and college student can do this partially by reading my review and participating. These people would represent a wide variety of opinions and values from all different parts of the population. Their values and opinions vary as much as they do across the nation. Being a social event this review would not only be geared to just one person, but their friends also. My review and its topic are not the most important things to be concerned about. It will not kill you to not know but it is a popular event and does no harm to know. You could lead a totally perfect social life without ever participating in a homecoming event but some may say that you would be missing out. Going to homecoming and reading this review would satisfy a social need. Making connections with others and meeting new people can be associated with such an event. Also the events held are very fun and include dances, concerts, and always showing school pride. Events like Spirit Splash where everyone comes together to celebrate going to UCF help define people. It is something that you can never forget and will take with you everywhere you go. So anyone who has been involved with UCF or college in general would be easily considered a part of my audience. This could even pull in crowds like parents of students or of future students who are interested in what their children are doing at college. College plays such a large role on life in this country and because of its wide impact many people are impacted. All of these people could find much interest in what I have to say having experienced homecoming firsthand or planning on it, as it has not come to pass just yet. A college student’s opinion may not have much merit behind it but some people may still take my opinion into consideration after reading my review.

Review Topic

The topic of my review essay is going to be homecoming for UCF.

thesis paragraph

Tailgating on college campuses’ has come to represent a part of college life that shows student’s and alumni’s increased willingness to participate and support an institution that has played a major impact on their life. It is more than just having a good time. It is an event where the school unites as a whole to celebrate what it is to be a “UCF Knight,” (in the case of the University of Central Florida) and to cheer on our school’s athletic teams on to victory and spreading the glory of the Knights! They do all of this while eating food and having a good time.

commentary outline

Commentary Outline
1. Tailgating (intro)
a. UCF fight song to introduce topic
b. Thesis
c. American tradition and past time
d. Time for family, food, friends, and fun
e. Occurs before sports game across the nation, but mainly football
f. People grill out, drink alcohol, play games, show support
g. Takes place at UCF on Memory Mall and around the stadium
h. Involves large amounts of students, alumni and locals including their friends
i. Happens every Saturday for home games
2. Rules (body)
a. Tailgating is restricted by time allowed for open containers of alcohol
b. Can setup whenever you want
c. Open Container Waiver starts
i. At 12:00 Noon on game days where games start after 6:00 pm
ii. At 8:00 am on game days with games earlier than 6:00 pm
d. Drinking Age is enforced
e. Can only use grills 10 feet from buildings and tents
f. All other campus rules apply other than these exceptions
3. Purpose (body)
a. Show support for school/team
b. Drink and eat food while its outside of the stadium
c. Meet people and socialize with other fans and rivals
d. Enjoy the football game experience
e. Input of friends I choose to interview
4. Concerns
a. Underage Drinking
b. Fighting amongst participants
c. Traffic and Parking problems
d. Lots of people, lots of drunk people
e.
5. Conclusion
a.
b. My personal input
c. Restate thesis

A letter to my friend Will

Dear Will,
So UCF is a lot of fun and one of the reasons why is cause everyone tailgates before the football games in a big field on campus. It’s insane. There are so many people out there and everyone is yelling and screaming. They play loud music and everyone is drinking for the most part. It sounds like fun and I have only gone once but I’m worried. At orientation they don’t stop telling you about strict alcohol policies on campus and all that. When you show up to the tailgate though, the beer is flowing in rivers in the grass! People left and right have open containers and the cops walk around and don’t say anything. I hope that none of my friends are dumb and get arrested for underage drinking or get too drunk and get lost in the crowd. I could see it being a dangerous place and having situations go bad very easily. I am not sure I should associate myself with all the drinking and revelry but I feel like I am not supporting my school if I don’t. Do you think participating is worth the risk of getting in trouble? There are so many people there the chances of me getting in trouble are slim, but if I were to get hurt or get into trouble it would be that much harder to find me. In your opinion do you think they should allow tailgating? It is college so I expected all of this but I am surprised and almost happy to see the lack of control over what goes on for the tailgating. The students have worked hard to get this event how they want it to be. I heard there is legislation working to get tailgating times made to open up earlier on game days with early games! I think that is really cool that my school functions so well with Student Government and everything. I have school pride and I am proud to go here so I think I will participate in the tailgate. Why not? I can look after myself and I don’t have to drink. It’s not worth getting kicked out of college. I would like it if you would come visit me and maybe come to a game with me. We can go to the tailgating and you can see for yourself and then give me your opinion. I know we will have a good time because there is an air of excitement that makes you feel alive and a part of the university and student body. There is nothing else like it! Well it was nice talking to you. Call me when you feel like coming up for a weekend and we can make plans then. It will be a good weekend. I promise!

Best Regards,
Brendan Rhoney

Analyzing a Commentary

Brendan Rhoney

1. The trend present in this article is that men are becoming more and more involved in the planning process of marriage.
2. Yes the introduction is interesting, because the author talks about a man spending a large amount of money on a nice suit and him being picky over his wedding outfit.
3. The author uses multiple examples of different people, occasions, and places where this trend is so quickly spreading and occurring. I think she is potentially trying to promote this trend.
4. She talks about how new reality shows and the changing of gender roles and cultural expectations have led to a redefining of the groom’s jobs.
5. Well the quotes from all the people she has interviewed are there to present examples. Pasquelle and his metrosexual wedding with his fancy suit and manicured hands.
6. The author tries to stay neutral but she seems to come off as excited and happy about this trend.
7. Well marriage has always been very traditional sometimes to an extreme degree, but now things are changing and that is a big deal because we are a traditional society at heart.

My 5 questions and the interview answers

1. How long has tailgating been allowed on campus? He didn't know.
2. What regulations are in place for tailgating? He had no idea.
3. How many people participate in this event? A lot of people.
4. How long does this event last? Until the football game starts.
5. Can anyone participate in tailgating? Yes, he thinks so.

a. How do you know what you know? I really don't really know much. I don't go to the tailgating and none of my close friends really go.
b. Who are you to the subject? Doesn't participate, but has a couple friends who go.
c. How is this event connected to other events? Underage drinking, fighting, other illegal activities.
d. What if things were different? People may have less fun but more safety, no drinking.
e. Why is this important? deals with underage drinking and breaking the law.

3 College Phenomena

1. Long Boards - tons of students use long boards to get around

2. Free Stuff - everyone is low on money and there is so much free stuff that is given out on campus

3. Tailgating and the football games - so many people participate, show school pride

Memoir Final

A black hole, the huge gaping mouth of a monster, or so I believed as I looked down into the cave I was about to be dropped into alone. I was eleven at the time. A young age but I was more mature than many kids at my age. I was spelunking in Belgium. So called cave exploring, it sounds like fun till you get there and the reality of what you are doing kicks in. The weeks of work during the rest of the camp all led up to this. I had practiced rappelling, rock climbing, learned safety procedures, how to tie knots, and much more all in preparation for this moment. Into a cave though? I wasn’t sure I had it in me. Tight, enclosed, dark spaces filled with sounds, smells and tons of moving things to make your skin crawl. I was getting cold feet, and bad. I wasn’t alone though. Many of the other camp members were going through the same motions. I looked at the rope that would be my lifeline and my stomach dropped to my feet. It was smaller in width than my finger! I looked up to the man who was going to be supporting me down into the cave. He saw the look in my eyes. He gave me a comforting nod and said, “You got this. All it takes is getting over the edge. I have you, you’re not going nowhere,” as he patted the rope and harness he was wearing. I looked over my shoulder into that thick darkness, and I went for it. Looking back at that moment makes me proud. I stepped up and overcame my fear. It had never happened like that before and I feel as if a barrier was broken in that moment. Since then I have had no problem attempting new activities. As a result of my experiences in camp and the support my peers and advisors gave me when I overcame my fear when I rappelled for the first time into that cave, I no longer let fear hold me back from doing anything and love to experience exciting new things. I am open and willing to try anything that comes my way and want to experience as much as this world has to offer for me because of it.
After the initial drop into the cave I was surprised by how fascinated I became. The fear was gone for the moment. The other camp members that had gone in ahead of me had moved on and their voices could be heard echoing throughout the caves. “This way,” I heard from around the corner. I began walking toward the voice but the light on my helmet gave out leaving me in partial darkness. The fear was back. I felt the cave walls closing in and my chest tightened. Once again a camp counselor saved me. “Hey, what happened?” asked a counselor as she came around the corner. She came to my side and helped me get the light working again. I said “thanks, you just stopped a panic attack,” and she smiled and said “that’s what I’m here for! Now come on lets catch up with the group.” I followed her onward. I remember feeling awed by the caves. It’s a whole other world down there. My love for nature grew immensely because of my experience. The stalactites and stalagmites; the rock structure; were all so unique and beautiful. Like nothing else on this planet. Deeper and deeper into the earth we went. I had thousands and thousands of pounds of rock above my head. I found myself thinking, “what am I doing here? Humans are not made for caves.” Yet there I was two hundred feet underground crawling through a dark cramped cave. We rounded the corner and caught up with the group and I felt a wave of relief through pass through my body. I calmed down when I saw other camp members were dealing with the same fears and their support helped get me through the experience.
As the trip went on we came upon a bottleneck in the path, where everyone had to squeeze through an extremely tight spot. Now I had a problem with that. I just knew something would happen if I tried to get through. Of course it did and I started to panic once again. A strap on my harness was hooked around a rock and I couldn’t reach around to grab it because I was in the middle of squeezing through this tiny gap. Thankfully someone was a bit behind me and helped me out. So once again I was freaked out by my trip into these caves. But I got through it all. I felt accomplished as an individual when I climbed that one last wall to get out of the cave system. At the age of 10, I think doing what I did was brave. You don’t see tons of little kids going out spelunking.
I think that is why it impacted me in the way it did. If I had a worse experience then I may still let fear control and dictate my life. But not anymore, I have learned that if I were to let that happen life would be boring and dull. I’m so grateful I got the chance to be overseas and get to have the time of my life caving in a foreign country. Not many people could say that. It may not have had as much significance then but looking back now I consider myself so lucky. I know that I would have eventually run into my fears and had to overcome them, but I’m glad it happened how it did. I’m sad to say I haven’t gone rappelling or rock climbing since then. I plan on changing that in the near future because now it has a lot of meaning in my life. If I could I would do it again in a heartbeat. I will never forget this memory. It stands in my mind fresh as if it happened yesterday. Every day I am reminded more and more of my spelunking experience. Coming to the University of Central Florida, where I currently attend, I have to deal with fear all over again. Fear of new people and of a new lifestyle. Fear of being alone from my parents. Fear of not doing well and not accomplishing my dreams. I take courage in that memory of the past because I know I can do it. I will not let fear hold me back from my full potential.

A black hole, the huge gaping mouth of a monster, or so I believed as I looked down into the cave I was about to be dropped into alone. I was eleven at the time. A young age but I was more mature than many kids at that age. I was spelunking in Belgium. So called cave exploring, it sounds like fun till you get there and the reality of what you are doing kicks in. The weeks of work during the rest of the camp all led up to this. I had practiced rappelling and rock climbing. Into a cave though? I wasn’t sure I had it in me. Tight, enclosed, dark spaces filled with sounds, smells and tons of moving things to make your skin crawl. I was getting cold feet, and bad. I wasn’t alone. Many of the other camp members were going through the same motions. I looked at the rope that would be my lifeline and my stomach dropped to my feet. It was smaller in width than my finger. I looked to the man who was going to be supporting me down into the cave. He saw the look in my eyes. He gave me a comforting nod and said, “You got this. All it takes is getting over the edge. I have you, you’re not going nowhere,” as he patted the rope and harness he was wearing. I looked over my shoulder into that thick darkness, and I went for it. Looking back at that moment makes me proud. I stepped up and overcame my fear. It had never happened like that before and I feel as if a barrier was broken in that moment. Since then I have had no problem attempting new activities. As a result of my experiences in camp and overcoming my fear when I rappelled for the first time into a cave, I no longer let fear hold me back from doing anything. I am open and willing about trying new things and want to experience as much as this world has to offer for me because of it.
After the initial drop into the cave I was surprised by how fascinated I became. The fear was gone for the moment. The other camp members that had gone in ahead of me had moved on and their voices could be heard echoing throughout the caves. “This way,” I heard from around the corner. I began walking toward the voice but the light on my helmet gave out leaving me in partial darkness. The fear was back. I felt the cave walls closing in and my chest tightened. Once again a camp counselor saved me. “Hey, what happened?” asked a counselor came around the corner. She came to my side and helped me get the light working again. I said “thanks, you just stopped a panic attack,” and she smiled and said “that’s what I’m here for! Now come on lets catch up with the group.” I followed her onward. I remember feeling awed by the caves. It’s a whole other world down there. My love for nature grew immensely because of my experience. The stalactites and stalagmites; the rock structure; were all so unique and beautiful. Like nothing else on this planet. Deeper and deeper we went. I had thousands and thousands of pounds of rock above my head. I found myself thinking, “what am I doing here? Humans are not made for caves.” Yet there I was two hundred feet underground crawling through a dark cramped cave. I felt better once I was around my peers. I was more comfortable and calm. Thankfully I wasn’t the only one having to move past my fears so I was not alone. That support helped get me through the experience.
As the trip went on we came upon a bottleneck in the path, where everyone had to squeeze through an extremely tight spot. Now I had a problem with that. I just knew something would happen if I tried to get through. Of course it did and I started to panic once again. A strap on my harness was hooked around a rock and I couldn’t reach around to grab it because I was in the middle of squeezing through this tiny gap. Thankfully someone was a bit behind me and helped me out. So once again I was freaked out by my trip into these caves. But I got through it all. I felt accomplished as an individual when I climbed the last wall to get out of the cave system. At the age of 10 I think doing what I did was brave. You don’t see tons of little kids going out spelunking. I think that is why it impacted me in the way it did. If I had a worse experience then I may still let fear control and dictate my life. But not anymore, I have learned that if I were to let that happen life would be boring and dull. I’m so grateful I got the chance to be overseas and get to have the time of my life caving in a foreign country. Not many people could say that. It may not have had as much significance then but looking back now I consider myself so lucky. I know that I would have eventually run into my fears and had to overcome them, but I’m glad it happened how it did. I’m sad to say I haven’t gone rappelling or rock climbing since then. I plan on changing that in the near future because now it has a lot of meaning in my life. If I could I would do it again in a heartbeat. I will never forget this memory. It stands in my mind fresh as if it happened yesterday.

Ms. Moody,
Kadi said my introductory paragraph was really good. I am glad she thought so. I have always had problems with writing and I hate being forced to write about topics. That’s why this memoir is different. It’s a topic I like and something that happened to me so I am very willing to write about it. I did a good job being descriptive and using different methods to entertain and connect with the reader. This memory is still so fresh in my mind I could write about this all day. I plan on moving back to before the event to describe a bit of the camp and my experiences there. Then follow through with reflection on the camp and my overcoming my fear when we went spelunking. This experience had a big impact on my life and I grew up so much as a result. I learned to not let fear hold me back from all the exciting things the world has out there to offer. I love being descriptive in my writing cause I know as a reader how much more enjoyable reading is when the picture is painted for you with words. I also like to use intricate words. They fit in better with the writing sometimes and make the story different from all the other more commonly used words in most stories. I can easily recall dialogue from my experiences so that will definitely help hold the readers interest. I also have a scrapbook thing from that camp which I will see if I can go over that to help me recollect and reminisce about my experiences.
I’m having an easy time writing about this memoir and I enjoy this type of writing. I think I am learning to use the different methods of writing in a much better way than I was before. I am encouraged by what Kadi had to say. It would be awesome if I get really good at writing. I hope to impress you with my final draft.

Thanks for your time.
Brendan Rhoney

Opener Draft

A black hole, the huge gaping mouth of a monster, or so I believed as I looked down into the cave I was about to be dropped into alone. I was eleven at the time. A young age but I was more mature than many kids at that age. I was spelunking in Belgium. So called cave exploring, it sounds like fun till you get there and the reality of what you are doing kicks in. The weeks of work during the rest of the camp all led up to this. I had practiced rappelling and rock climbing. Into a cave though? I wasn’t sure I had it in me. Tight, enclosed, dark spaces filled with sounds, smells and tons of moving things to make your skin crawl. I was getting cold feet, and bad. I wasn’t alone. Many of the other camp members were going through the same motions. I looked at the rope that would be my lifeline and my stomach dropped to my feet. It was smaller in width than my finger. I looked to the man who was going to be supporting me down into the cave. He saw the look in my eyes. He gave me a comforting nod and said, “You got this. All it takes is getting over the edge. I have you, you’re not going nowhere,” as he patted the rope and harness he was wearing. I looked over my shoulder into that thick darkness, and I went for it.

Memoir Opener

I am going to open my memoir with very graphic description of one moment during my spelunking trip where I first went down into the first cave. It was a freaky moment. I think it would do well to capture the reader’s attention and interest right off the back. I will describe the setting and the events taking place. Talking about looking over the edge into a gaping black hole, Having to trust the person above me with my safety, hanging from a half-inch thick rope, and getting down and looking up at the biggest spider imaginable. Being so enclosed and cramped made my skin crawl. Or that could’ve have been the bugs. I will be very descriptive. Use humor to help the readers connect with my story.

Invention: 3 Ideas

B.R.A.T. Camp
When I lived in Rammstein, Germany, I participated in a camp called B.R.A.T. camp. It was run by USAFE and worked out of the recreation center on base. We did all kinds of activities typical of a summer camp, but for this camp I was at the right age to develop and grow as an individual. I had no problem doing most of the camp activities such as swimming, biking, kayaking, etc. At one point we went on a trip to Belgium to go rock climbing, rappelling, and spelunking (exploring caves). These activities scared me. The heights, the darkness, and being suspended fifty to a hundred feet in the air by an inch thick rope got to me. I was going to chicken out, until the whole camp, all of my peers and youth leaders, rallied behind me and gave me the courage and support I needed to accomplish these activities. I overcame fears for the first time in my life and because of it I developed into the person I am today. Without these experiences I would not be the bold person who is willing to try anything.



Living in Germany
My father was in the Air Force Reserves and he worked for a government contractor. For his job, my family had to move to Germany. We lived in a little town close to the French border near the air base. We were in the middle of Europe and that was a great thing. I travelled to almost every European country and to some places like Egypt and Greece. The experiences and memories I have from these trips have really influenced the person I turned into. Living overseas is an eye opening and enriching experience. I am thankful for how fortunate I was to get to do all of the things I got to do. I learned some French and German. I swam on an international swim team. I grew up there so much as a result.



High School Hockey State Championship
I started playing hockey when I was 6 years old. I played off and on throughout my life but when I moved back to Florida from Germany, I was older and decided to get more serious. I started playing all high school hockey. By my freshman year our team had developed and we were the top team of the league. We won the area championship, and then went on to States. After losing twice we still managed to make semi-finals where we won! Somehow the tides had changed and we made it to finals. I played the game of my life that game scoring three goals. We won Division II States my senior year. I consider this one of my biggest accomplishments in life so far. I worked so hard to get there and for once all my work paid off. Playing hockey and the companionship I experienced while playing will never leave me. I will keep playing all my life.